Today, I achieved (Todoist) enlightenment, which means I’ve completed 18-thousand-ish tasks in the Todoist productivity app over about 4 years. Todoist wasn’t the first. I’ve been using apps like that since 2011, and I have a bot running up in the cloud assisting with just in time delivery of my to-dos. That’s a lot of tasks, but I would still only describe myself as “somewhat above average productive” … more on that below in my good, bad, ugly, and sublime (and candid) thoughts on productivity and self-employment.

The Good

Chaos does not reign in my home.

I feel like a lot of the world is under water. I have problems contacting people when I owe them money. I see friends wince when their phones ring. A lot of us are overworked, trying unsuccessfully to do 30 things at once and accomplishing nothing. Putting a name on what you’re doing right now largely solves that problem. I’ve even found time to be bored, which is a rare and wonderful thing.

I remove and rinse my dishwasher filter every seven days, I file my quarterly taxes on time, I don’t run out of clean socks, I have articles like this ready for the day they become relevant, 99% of my metaphorical stitches are made in time (each saving nine), and I for sure haven’t lost a bit of business because I didn’t return a phone call.

Sometimes, I watch a three-and-a-half hour Bollywood movie from the 70s, just because I have the zen and attention span to do it. It’s a luxury afforded to those of us with the ability to unplug.

I’ve cleared the runway.

I don’t do more overall. I just do less bullshit. A few millennial friends have recently confided in me how stressed and overworked they feel. This often leads to resenting a spouse who “doesn’t do their share.” I’m not one to give relationship advice, but I think that by 35, you know what your gear is. You know how much you want to work. The trick isn’t to strip your gears by working to the point of misery, it’s to remove things that require more effort than you wish to give them. Nothing highlights those “juice isn’t worth the squeeze” items in your life like watching a task get three months overdue in a productivity app. When that happens, delete it—and throw away any tools you’d bought to work on it.

I get to say “Yes” a lot more.

I see advice everywhere to “learn to say ‘no’!” The idea is that other people will try to impede your success by asking you out to lunch or recruiting you to help them move a piano. We’ve taken that expired advice to heart. Nearly every time I see anyone, they’re rushing off to “take care of business.” But what do we do with all of that time we save by avoiding commitments and rushing through social events? The average connected adult uses social media over two hours a day. Worse, when they’re not using, they’re compelled by shame and regret to “stay busy.” If you’re looking for a cure, Lord Kelvin nailed it in 1883. His exact quote is a little wordy, but we’ve since trimmed it down to “What gets measured, gets managed.”

I always have something to pick up.

If I get bored, or I get tired, or I’m just not finding traction with the “headline goals” in my life, I have something to pick up besides my phone. I can open Todoist and plan an outing or a small project; I can remember an errand or a thank you or a birthday that I otherwise would have forgotten; I can send my brother an $11 bread knife because I noticed the didn’t have one when I went to his house warming; or I can do one of the fun things I’ve put into the app: I have a short list of movies and books waiting for the right mood to strike.

If I have 15 minutes before bed, and nothing better to do than pig out on Sanissimo-brand “Salmas” crackers in the kitchen, I can change the lightbulb in the porch light instead or rotate the books in my Little Free Library. If I wake up two hours early, I can check my list, decide that getting up would be a real chore, and fall back asleep.

The Bad

Staying busy isn’t a superpower.

Staying organized, staying busy, and avoiding distraction free up a lot of time, but I have a few essential activities that consume all of that and more. Relationships, coding, walking, cooking, and reading inevitably consume all available resources. If I’m organized, I have more resources to burn, but they’re still going to burn. There is no end to “sharpening the saw.”

My income hasn’t scaled with my output. In fact, it may have gone down. Earlier this year, I bid what would have been a 6-month project in a corporate job. I charged by the hour and was finished in 60 hours. I may have sharpened the saw too much to continue charging an hourly rate.

Productivity probably isn’t limiting you anyway.

We’re so chronically busy that it feels like getting ahead of the to-do list will solve every problem, but there’s just another wall behind it. I’ve cleared plenty of those walls, and have been fortunate to have others cleared for me.

• I have good health.
• I have low social inhibition.
• My house is paid for.
• I’ve built a great AI stack.
• I’ve written an entire library of code to facilitate my business offerings.
• I have a lot of wise friends.
• I’ve read a lot of wise books.
• I live in a peaceful environment in a paid-for house in a big city with a lot of opportunity.

All of those are important, but none are a panacea. Many days, I wake up with high-energy, a clean house, a clear calendar, a full tank of gas, and no idea what to do next, particulary for my business. Less often, but sometims, I have a clear idea, but I don’t have the resources to pull it off. Creativity and money and network and insight are every bit as limited—and limiting—as time.

The Ugly

You aren’t just a number

Cynical coworkers have told me that, “To the company, you’re just a number.” How many times I’ve wished that were true! If I were just a number, all I would have to do to succeed is deliver value. This is the kind of situation a technical person dreams of.

The difficult truth is that “value” can be an abstract concept in large companies, where everyone is playing with house money. Stress is real. Comfort is real. Convenience is real. Effort is real. Responsibility is real. Relationships are real. But value? That’s something that affects shareholders we’ve never met and who may as well live on another planet.

Who among us hasn’t gained or lost a job or promotion for reasons the decision maker could never admit to the shareholders?

Most people who know me will tell you they’ve never seen me upset, but I did raise my voice one time in my 15-year corporate career. I was hardworking, well liked, and highly regarded (in other words, valuable), but I got passed over for a man who was lazy, disliked, and frequently threatened with termination—and who that same morning had woken up too drunk at the shipyard to complete his shift—because I had a ride home and he didn’t. One of the crew had to leave so our roster would match the Coast Guard paperwork, and if it had been anyone but me, someone would have had to call a van. That was the reason: someone would have had to call a van.

Fortunately for me (though it’s a poor reflection on the culture at the time) someone did end up calling a van. I got that decision reversed by throwing a fit—not by providing value.

Aren’t I the one who sounds cynical when I say that, “To the company, you are anything but a number”?

The net effect of this for me is that I can’t out value the responsibility that comes with my deliverables. If I investigate an incident, clarity will be increased. If I work on your management system, visibility will be increased. If I coach your personnel, they will be more assertive. Clarity, visibility, and assertive personnel are valuable, but they compel action, and action leads to change, and change—unlike value—is very real. The harder I work, the more value I provide, the more action I compel. Analog transformation is a tough business.

I understand why successful, capable people in safety consulting often open with something squishy like culture assessments, keynote speeches, or pep rallies. They’re bypassing the abstract and dealing with the real needs of the people who sign their checks.

While I’m here, would anyone like a pep rally?

The Sublime

The best things in life aren’t free.

We talk about having a friend who would “give you the shirt off their back.” How would you know you have a friend like that if you never needed someone else’s shirt?

My best friends are still those I’ve had to depend on and who’ve had to depend on me.

My best customers want change or haven’t been given a choice. They have a client they’d like to reach or a system they’d like to implement or a problem they’d like to solve … and value has become visible and real. I get to build relationships while we learn from each other and cooperate to overcome obstacles. That’s a more essential life than friendships based on taste in music or shared restaurant recommendations.

I get to spend my life with people who not only share my values, but are ready to have those values tested, who will not only give me someone else’s money, but who invite the short-term effort that comes with long-term improvement. I wouldn’t have it any other way.